- Your valuation is not your net worth. Stop confusing the two at dinner parties.
- If you still can’t explain what your company does after two sentences, pivot the company.
- Never trust a founder whose office has a foosball table but no revenue.
- ChatGPT is not a personality.
- Burning Man is a networking event. Accept this and dress accordingly.
- Your cold plunge is not a substitute for therapy.
- If you have to tell people you’re disrupting an industry, you’re not.
- The best thing about AI replacing jobs is that it also replaces the people complaining about AI replacing jobs.
- Learn to read a cap table before you learn to code.
- If your Series A deck has the word “ecosystem” in it more than twice, start over.
- Never date anyone whose valuation of themselves exceeds yours.
- Moving to Austin doesn’t make you a rebel. It makes you someone who moved to Austin.
- A Waymo ride at 2am is the Silicon Valley walk of shame.
- Own equity in something. Anything. Even yourself is a start.
- The H-1B visa is the most honest relationship in Silicon Valley — everyone knows exactly what they’re getting.
- Never apologize for a layoff in a blog post. Either own it or don’t write the post.
- The person who mentions their YC batch within five minutes is telling you everything you need to know.
- AGI is five years away. It has always been five years away.
- Your standing desk is not a personality trait.
- If you’re microdosing to be more creative, the problem isn’t your serotonin levels.
- A signed term sheet and a verbal commitment are not the same thing.
- Madera on a Thursday is worth more market intelligence than a year of TechCrunch.
- Everyone in San Francisco is building something. Most of them are building excuses.
- If you’re still in the office after 8pm, either something is broken or you have nowhere to go. One of these is acceptable.
- Never let a VC tell you what your company is worth on the way down.
- The best founders you’ve ever met had terrible social skills and excellent timing.
- Do not post your marathon time on LinkedIn.
- Crypto is either going to change the world or it isn’t. Either way, stop bringing it up at dinner.
- If the AI can do your job, it’s not the AI’s fault.
- Never hire someone who says “I wear many hats” without immediately asking which hats and whether those hats have shipped anything.
- The best thing about remote work is that your coworkers can’t tell if you’re on your third glass of wine. The worst thing is the same.
- An executive coach is just a therapist who charges more because they pretend it’s about the company.
- “We’re a family here” means they can’t afford competitive salaries.
- Your LinkedIn summary is the last place anyone looks to understand who you are.
- Never name-drop an angel investor who hasn’t wired the check yet.
- The person who talks most about work-life balance has the worst work and the least interesting life.
- Meritocracy is the story Silicon Valley tells itself. It isn’t wrong. It just isn’t complete.
- You do not need a Chief of Staff. You need to answer your own emails.
- If you have to fire someone over Zoom, at least use a good camera.
- Every person who has ever pitched “Uber for X” has a cousin who actually uses Uber.
- No one serious has a podcast. Everyone serious has been on one.
- Your Series B does not make you interesting at a dinner party. It makes you fundable.
- The best acquisition targets are the ones that don’t know they’re acquisition targets yet.
- NFTs were a test of who was stupid enough. Most people passed.
- If you are not embarrassed by your first product, you have too much runway and not enough urgency.
- There is no such thing as a co-founder who is “basically a co-founder.”
- When someone asks where you work, the test isn’t the company name. It’s whether you light up or look away.
- Everyone in the Valley claims to be contrarian. True contrarians don’t claim it.
- DOGE is what happens when Silicon Valley discovers government the same way it discovered taxis.
- If your culture deck is longer than your product roadmap, you have a culture problem.
- The best engineers don’t want to be managers. Stop promoting the best engineers.
- Equity vesting over four years with a one-year cliff is the closest thing Silicon Valley has to a marriage vow.
- Never let an AI write your apology. The hallucinations will make it worse.
- A pivot isn’t failure. Three pivots is a lifestyle.
- The person who “used to be at Google/Meta/Apple” peaked somewhere between two and four years ago. You can usually tell.
- San Francisco has gotten cleaner. It’s still not clean enough. This is still progress.
- Never take board notes on your phone. You are not that discreet and the board knows it.
- If your runway is under six months, it’s not a cash problem. It’s a conversation you should have had six months ago.
- The most expensive thing in Silicon Valley isn’t the rent. It’s the delusion that you’re the exception.
- Burning Man is mandatory for exactly the first three years. After that it’s a midlife crisis with better lighting.
- Own at least one thing you built with your hands. It will keep you honest in every product review you ever run.
- Never co-invest with someone you wouldn’t co-sign a lease with. Actually, don’t co-sign leases either.
- The friend who moved to Miami to avoid California taxes talks about California more than anyone still in California.
- An AI agent that makes mistakes confidently is just a junior employee with better uptime.
- Venture debt is a mortgage on your anxiety. Take it only when you understand both.
- The difference between a visionary and a fraud is about eighteen months of runway.
- If you have to explain why your raise was a down round, you’ll be explaining for years.
- The best networking you will ever do is on a plane. The second best is at a funeral.
- Work-life balance is a VC talking point. Founders have a different word for it: weekends.
- The best deals you’ll ever do happen in a parking lot after the conference ends.
- Your biohacking routine will not save you from a bad Q3.
- If your company values say “move fast,” check how long the last leadership meeting ran.
- A warm intro from someone who barely knows you is worth exactly as much as a cold email. Send the cold email.
- The person asking for 30 minutes of your time wants 90. Budget accordingly.
- Soylent is a meal. Pretending otherwise is the lie that keeps Silicon Valley functional.
- Never confuse being early with being right. The cemetery of correct-but-early ideas is full of Series As.
- The singularity is coming. In the meantime, answer your Slack messages.
77 Rules for Being a Man (According Sand Hill Elevator Conversations)
